Die wunderbare Frau dooce war mit Töchterchen Leta Süßigkeitensammeln:

„Somehow you lasted a good half hour, and when we finally called it a night and headed home I could tell that you were totally sweating it. Was I going to let you eat your treats? You didn’t know, and you couldn’t look me in the eye, so you asked your prince who in turn told you to ask the witch. HA HA! BEHOLD THE CHAIN OF COMMAND! THE POWER! MORE INTOXICATING THAN SCHNAPPS!

I hesitated when you asked me, because I am mean and evil and enjoy the sound of your head exploding, and then said yes. Of course. It’s Halloween. And Leta, I don’t think you have ever loved me more than you did in that moment. In fact, you took the time to hug me and tell me that I am wonderful before ripping into a full-sized Hershey’s bar. It is not lost on me that you showed such affection because of a goddamn chocolate bar and not because I carried you in my womb for nine months or because I pushed your seven-pound body out my wee waw. For a chocolate bar that did not whip out its boob while standing in line at the post office because you needed to be fed. A chocolate bar that has not cupped its hands underneath your mouth as you throw up a cheese quesadilla. That being said, there is a reason you give boxes of chocolate to your loved ones on Valentine’s Day and not, say, a picture of vaginal stitches next to a thought bubble that says, “I love you THIS much!”“