Wil Wheaton darf sich an allen Spöttern über Wesley Crusher rächen – indem er für TV Squad alte Star Trek: The Next Generation-Folgen rezensiert. Völlig objektiv natürlich. Kostprobe?

„(…) because now it’s time to introduce some more characters, namely Dr. Beverly Crusher, and her son Wesley. Riker encounters them on the outskirts of the mall, where they’re about to do some shopping. Star Trek: The Next Generation is full of wonderful surprises about the future, and this is one that will make everyone happy: in the future, there are still outlet malls, and they’re just as plentiful in the rest of the galaxy as they are on 20th century Earth.

As they walk around the mall, Riker tries to tell Dr. Crusher how mysterious the whole place is, but she interrupts him to admire a bolt of fabric. Just before Riker can tell her the exciting tale of them apples, the fabric changes into exactly what the doctor ordered. Woah! Mystery!

Riker and the Doctor begin to discuss the mystery, when Wesley interrupts them to explicitly point out how mysterious the whole thing is. (It’s right around this moment, according to historical data and polling research, that the Kill Wesley movement got its first member, though scholars are unable to agree upon who it was. It has been narrowed down to a single male virgin, approximately age 24, living in his parents’ basement in the American Midwest.)

Dr. Crusher and Wesley wander off into the mall to get a good seat for Carousel, and we get to meet Geordi LaForge, who tells Riker that the Enterprise has arrived, but only with the stardrive section, and the captain wants Riker to beam up immediately. (Riker then becomes the very first character on Star Trek: The Next Generation to use the transporter, which I’ve always been a little envious of.)“

(via Wortvogel, der das schon im Oktober 2006 mitgekriegt hatte, auf dessen Blog ich aber erst vor ein paar Tagen vom Popkulturjunkie geschubst wurde)