feeling guilty without having to i know still do

why is this so hard does it have to be this hard i never expected it to be you know oh no wait i actually did expect it to be that hard maybe that’s why i never tried in the first place

and all these books piling up looking so wonderful a wall around me protect me shield me keep everything outside this wall i don’t want it to become smaller maybe that’s why i keep buying books i never read or: this is part of my plan to become 1000 years old so i can read all the books there are and watch all the movies ever made and still have my wall around me books movies more books more movies hey world who needs reality anyway

all the movies i see all the books i read so many stories that i think i have heard before or even experienced myself why didn’t i write this book why didn’t i make that movie still afraid aren’t you still not good enough aren’t you but who is to judge just jump sissy just write just blurt it out COME ON YOU CAN DO IT

now don’t cry

seriously don’t cry