{"id":5318,"date":"2009-09-29T11:12:59","date_gmt":"2009-09-29T09:12:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ankegroener.de\/?p=5318"},"modified":"2009-09-29T11:12:59","modified_gmt":"2009-09-29T09:12:59","slug":"ich-glaube-alle-windows-rechner-heisen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ankegroener.de\/blog\/?p=5318","title":{"rendered":"Ich glaube, alle Windows-Rechner hei\u00dfen …"},"content":{"rendered":"

… Marvin<\/a>.<\/p>\n

“Of course, it’s safe to assume Mac products are indeed as brilliant as their owners make out. Why else would they spend so much time trying to convert non-believers? They’re not getting paid. They simply want to spread their happiness, like religious crusaders.<\/p>\n

Consequently, nothing pleases them more than watching a PC owner struggle with a slab of non-Mac machinery. It validates their spiritual choice. Recently I sat in a room trying to write something on a Sony Vaio PC laptop which seemed to be running a special slow-motion edition of Windows Vista specifically designed to infuriate human beings as much as possible. Trying to get it to do anything was like issuing instructions to a depressed employee over a sluggish satellite feed. When I clicked on an application it spent a small eternity contemplating the philosophical implications of opening it, begrudgingly complying with my request several months later. It drove me up the wall. I called it a bastard and worse. At one point I punched a table.<\/p>\n

This drew the attention of two nearby Mac owners. They hovered over and stood beside me, like placid monks.<\/p>\n

“Ah: the delights of Vista,” said one.<\/p>\n

“It really is time you got a Mac,” said the other.<\/p>\n

“They’re just better,” sang monk number one.<\/p>\n

“You won’t regret it,” whispered the second.<\/p>\n

I scowled and returned to my infernal machine, like a dishevelled park-bench boozer shrugging away two pious AA recruiters by pulling a grubby, dented hip flask from his pocket and pointedly taking an extra deep swig. Leave me alone, I thought. I don’t care if you’re right. I just want you to die.<\/p>\n

I know Windows is awful. Everyone knows Windows is awful. Windows is like the faint smell of piss in a subway: it’s there, and there’s nothing you can do about it. OK, OK: I know other operating systems are available. But their advocates seem even creepier, snootier and more insistent than Mac owners. The harder they try to convince me, the more I’m repelled. To them, I’m a sheep. And they’re right. I’m a helpless, stupid, lazy sheep. I’m also a masochist. And that’s why I continue to use Windows \u2013 horrible Windows \u2013 even though I hate every second of it.\u201c<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

(aus dem Guardian<\/a>, via dem Herrn Wirbeleit<\/a> sein Gezwitscher<\/a>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

… Marvin. “Of course, it’s safe to assume Mac products are indeed as brilliant as their owners make out. Why else would they spend so much time trying to convert non-believers? They’re not getting paid. They simply want to spread their happiness, like religious crusaders. Consequently, nothing pleases them more than watching a PC owner […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5318","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weblog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ankegroener.de\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5318","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ankegroener.de\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ankegroener.de\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ankegroener.de\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ankegroener.de\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5318"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.ankegroener.de\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5318\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5321,"href":"https:\/\/www.ankegroener.de\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5318\/revisions\/5321"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ankegroener.de\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5318"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ankegroener.de\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5318"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ankegroener.de\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5318"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}